Frequently Asked Questions

The idea behind this page is to introduce you to the kind of questions we get asked regularly and, in each case, we have suppled what we think is a comprehensive answer. Some are printed more or less verbatim. Some of the questions are illuminative and educational and some are stupid and trite. If you email us with an identical question we will refer you to this page, and will probably think you are a bit daft as well if you have already looked at the answer.

We are often asked about blood drinking and "real" vampires. We make it clear that we are not a contact organisation for anyone seeking blood drinkers and that we do not exist to encourage such activities. Also, and maybe sadly, we are convinced that vampires as depicted in the movies do not really exist and anyone who believes that they are the immortal, blood sucking undead needs the kind of help which we cannot offer. So, you may hava lot of black clothes, but that does not make you a "real" vampire.

Please click on the links below to jump down the page to the answer to the relevant question.

Q1. I wish to be "turned" into a vampire - how do I go about this?

Q2. I am a student at university/college/school and have to do a dissertation/study/essay - can you tell me about a particular aspect or theme?

Q3. Can you tell me what you know about vampires?

Q4. I am doing a radio/TV documentary/doing a lifestyle programme. Can you supply people for me to interview?

Q5. I am a photographer/filmmaker-can you get subjects to model/act for me?

Q6. I need to interview/photograph real blood drinkers - can you fix this?

Q7. You are in the thrall of the path of darkness- you are all damned!

Q8. Are you Satanists?

Q9. I am a slayer - I will destroy all you degenerates.

Q10. Do you know any good spells?

Q11. Is there an age limit for joining the London Vampyre Group?

Q1. I wish to be "turned" into a vampire - how do I go about this?

I'm looking for a real vampire sire, no RPG or lifestyler. I've been looking for years but no luck. It's been my dream for ever to be a real vampire and be in a clan. I live in Whitehall, PA, in the U.S.A. Please help me, I'm married, have a son, no friends. I know being a vampire will give me the fulfilment I desire and Ii will honor the laws and elders and lord of the clan I join, but Ii need a lot of help to find one to except into it and embrace me. Please write me back as soon as you get time.

Yours truly X [Name withheld]

Dear X, Firstly, thanks for your email. You would be surprised at the number of requests we get along the same lines as yours, and, as usual, we will try to give you a patient and honest response. It is important for you to realise that, in essence, the vampire is a fantasy figure who exists only in the fictional imagination. Out of all the people we have met who claim they are centuries old, get their nutrition from preying on others, and have achieved immortality, not one has a shred of evidence to uphold their beliefs.

Basically, such people are kidding themselves. For us, the vampire as a strong, independent and romantic character is a fantasy and we strive to realise that as a world within which we can escape. In other words, we can reject what we dislike about the "real" world by using our imaginations. This can take many forms, i.e. some do role play, some have a pseudo vampyre/gothic lifestyle, some write or create artistically, and some are involved in games which involve drinking of blood.

You choose your own alternative. We do not have either recommendations or condemnations, it is up to the individual, but we do insist that the choice of others is respected, and that individuals do not get harmed as a result of our activities.

Your request can, at best, be described as an urge which is naive, and, at worst, something which is threatening and misguided. We also have had such letters from agencies trying to trick us into making risqué statements, as religious extremists or arcane security bodies might do, and these operate with a high profile in your country.

So we are careful in what we say. In your email you are hinting at something beyond what we have to offer, and you should take time to think through in some detail what your idea of "the Vampyre" is in reality. If you genuinely believe they are "real" in the same sense as, say, Louis and Lestat, in Anne Rice's "Interview with the Vampire" and that people can be "turned" into vampires, then you do need help, but not the kind we can give.

Basically, using your imagination does not have to mean that you become totally gullible. As I said, we do get letters like yours which are provocative spoofs, and, if you don't reply to this one, we must conclude that we have got your number as well.

Q2. I am a student at university/college/school and have to do a dissertation/study/essay - can you tell me about a particular aspect or theme?

I have decided to do a special study and dissertation on a specific vampire theme - can you give me some indicators as to where I should start? I need to have this done quite soon - about ten days actually. (this is a paraphrasing of a genuine request!)

We are aware that students do take on unrealistic studies and are quite often just looking for a quick crib to avoid putting much effort in. We are also aware that our websites include quite a lot of detailed and learned information and that there are many teachers and lecturers who, in order to avoid having to do too much coaching, just point their students and pupils in our direction. We have to make two things clear;

a) if you have chosen this topic, it's your baby and you will not be able to get us to do it for you, and

b) if you have a genuine fascination for the subject you will already be involved in the scene - the easiest route is to get properly involved and correspond with those people who seem to have the knowledge and opinions -as an outsider you will find this hard to do (see also answer Q3)

We suppose that when there is an Academy for Vampiric Studies, then things might be different!

Q3. Can you tell me what you know about vampires?

I am interested in vampires so I am sending you an envelope so that you can put in all the information you have.

We are an association of lots of people, many of whom are serious students of arcane and strange matters. As a consequence some of us have rooms fullof books, videos, films, artefacts and knick knacks and to satisfy the above request is simply beyond possibility. If you want access to the wealth of knowledge and understanding we possess you will not get that by remaining outside.

Generally speaking this kind of enquiry comes from someone who is a) too young to know what to ask or b) is a student/researcher who is desperate for material to get started with or c) someone who just wants attention.

Our response is to suggest that what is on offer is already on show on the website - if you want more you will need to join or at least buy some of the publications! We are in this organisation for each other and not for people who just want to write a good essay!

Q4. I am doing a radio/TV documentary/doing a lifestyle programme. Can you supply people for me to interview?

We are doing a documentary programme - can we profile members of your organisation?

In the past we used to do loads of this, and, we still do, but with reservations:

1) If you are doing documentary, why do you need to involve us? When Kate Adie and the film crew cover a battle they don't ask for a rerun just to get better shots do they? Our perception is that, if you have us involved in the arrangements, you no longer have pure documentary.

2) Most of us have been on tv and had our ten seconds of fame and only a few of us need to do that again - we will work with people who are fun, and show a genuine interest in what we are about. If you want to be exploitative, then, seriously, go elsewhere or just hire some actors.

3) Think about what we are going to get out of it. It's no good saying we get publicity because the kind of people who are on this scene are in it because it is alternative. The types we draw or attract from media exposure are usually quite disturbing and genuinely "perverted" and not in an interesting way. Suitable incentives tend to be nice things, presents and money.

Sorry to appear standoffish, but, as they say, once bitten...

Q5. I am a photographer/filmmaker-can you get subjects to model/act for me?

I need subjects and models dressed in way out/cyber/goth/victorian gear to pose/act in my work - are you able to provide this? I will recompense you with copies of my work.

It is true that, within our ranks, we have large numbers of good looking, well dressed, fully opinionated, and very cooperative individuals who can do this. In many cases, they do this professionally and lots of us have done it for gratis in the past. However, we have been ripped off and messed about so many times that we will say that we are only willing to do this for people who we have worked with and are close to.

We are aware of what professionals ask for this kind of work and will suggest that we can do it better, because, after all, we are the real thing! It is likely that we will be setting up and operating a kind of agency to make this kind of service more available, but, will we do it for free for punters we don't know? - well, perhaps it is best if you don't ask. By the way, we don't expect the kind of fees which are typica in the BBC!

Q6. I need to interview/photograph real blood drinkers - can you fix this?

We are tv/video/investigative journalists doing a documentary profile on "vampirism" and, basically, we want the real thing and to be able to both interview and view the taking of blood by humans. You realise this is only to promote greater understanding.

One thing we constantly try to make clear is that a fascination with any aspect of "the vampyre" does not necessitate the drinking of blood, and any such assumption is just trite and obvious. Our researches have led us to think that it is difficult for humans to gain any amount of nutrition from the consumption of blood as it is a) hard to digest and b) incomplete in terms of the variety needed in a healthy diet.

On the other hand we acknowledge that many humans knowingly consume blood in the form of sausage and similar products and in Britain this is known as "Black" sausage - indeed a lot of us have no qualms about admitting eating and liking this. Some societies let blood from their animals to consume it and one example is where Masai tribesmen, who are herders of cattle, will take blood from their animals for nutritive and also rirualistic purposes.

Taking blood from another animal, especially a human, implies several health hazards and precautions regarding the avoidance of disease are obvious. We are aware that there are people who experience an erotic pleasure in sampling blood from a sexual or sensual partner and this is less the business of "drinking someone dry" and more the pursuit of breaking taboos and experiencing symbolic and fetishistic pleasures.

Since this is the business only of people who engage in such mutual pleasuring it is not possible to condemn it, especially in a society which tolerates brutal practices like boxing and dog fighting in the name of sport. On the other hand, we categorically say that, for a person to be interested and involved in the vampire genre does not imply in any way that they need to indulge in blood drinking.

Those who do carry out such private practices have asked us to protect their identities especially since the society we live in is not as tolerant of individualists as our "protectors" would like us to think. Unnecessary exposure has led people into physical intimidation and danger and also loss of employment and livelihood.

For this reason, we will not seek out blood drinkers for the press. If your researchers are any good (and most of them are pretty poor, no?) they will be able to find what is out there.

After all, do you want it on a plate?

Q7. You are in the thrall of the path of darkness- you are all damned!

Oh no, Not the Spanish Inquisition - this one is a real email!

In Spanish: Si pensais que no creemos en vuestra existencia, os equivocais. Ha llegado la hora de hacer justicia Divina. Vosotros sois la oscuridad, pero nosotros somos la luz. La guerra empieza y el tiempo corre en vuestra contra. Sois historia. Por el Padre Celestial de la Luz.

OK we translate this as : You think we do not know of your existence, but you are mistaken. The hour of divine justice has arrived. You are only the darkness, but we are the light. The war has begun and in time will turn against you. You are history. But the Heavenly Father is the light.

In reply; I can only say that we openly announce our existence and you must be stupid to think that we are being secretive. Unlike you, who do not announce who you are. If you are the light, maybe you should illuminate us with your existence and your name.

If the war has begun, are you threatening us? Do you not know that the years when you could burn and kill people who did not accept your narrow views have now gone and people in the world are a lot wiser. You hide behind pious statements and historical lies and all I can suggest is that you either grow up, or just go away and live in the Middle Ages. The Spanish Inquisition is now dead, so long live truth and enlightenment.

Q8. Are you Satanists?

Do you have covens and are you satanists?

Some people would like you to think so.

It is true that our association contains people with many different religious convictions, but is is probably a true reflection that most are either believers in original, pagan beliefs or just agnosticor atheist. Having said that, we do insist that everyone is tolerant of others' opinions, at least within the confines of our society and our activities.

To be a Satanist, even though it has become a recent fashion statement, seems a contradiction in itself. To accept the concept of Satan as an angel and messenger condemned by the Christian God as the personification of Evil and an arch manipulator of whatever goes wrong in the world, and also to choose Satan as a force to be identified with, seems a gross contradiction.

Coupled with this, all the traditional images of Satan seem to be attempts by the Christians to denounce and denigrate the gods of other religions, which they found easy to do when they ruled the roost, but less so now when people are allowed to think for themselves a bit more.

I think it is safe to say that the answer to your question is no, but also you may not see many of us in church this Sunday.

Q9. I am a slayer - I will destroy all you degenerates.

This is a genuine email exchange from an American with aol as service provider;

> Come, get me I am a vampire hunter and you mother f**kin vamps will die

Ooh, we are frightened! too much tv again? --

> ok meet me here tommorrow [a misspelt address in the good old U.S.A given here] and we will fight for you vamps deserve to die

Hi there ol' xx, I do wonder how seriously I should take someone who cannot spell their own address - how old are you? fifteen? Hold on, I have just realised you are a North American. You may be excused your crass gullibility, then. Maybe a few words for you to look up there.

> why don`t you face me you to scared

Actually, we couldn't get the bus fare together for that meeting, - why don't you just concentrate on getting your teacher to check your spelling before you mouth off next time? --

> when can you get the bus fare ,when you do come so I can kick your ass

Why do you want to be so vicious to my donkey?

> I don`t have a probelm with your "donkey" I got a probelm with you blood sucker

I see you are still having problems with your grasp of spelling - you know it would help if you practised more on crosswords or "scrabble". Anyway, you have a problem with us - what is that exactly?

> you are bloodsuckers you kill to live

Time to get real I think. I believe that you are having trouble telling the difference between reality and fantasy. None of us think we are real "vampires" who kill to live, as you say. We are merely creating a fictional environment in which we can live out parts of our imaginations. When you say you are a "slayer" I believed that you were doing the same, i.e. acting out a chosen role. There's nothing wrong with that so long as you understand the limits of your role-play, and I did feel that we were both indulging on some boisterous banter and just for fun.

However, there are things which make me not so certain. None of us actually kills to drink blood, and to my knowledge we would all agree that drinking blood is just trite and obvious. So for your enlightenment, if you are going to accuse us of killing you need to come up with your evidence. I am sure your server, AOL, which takes a high moral stand on what goes through its computer would not like to get involved in libel actions...are you having a laugh or what?

...and here this interchange ended

Q10. Do you know any good spells?

Do you know any good spells that me and my classmates could use?

Too much Buffy and too much Harry Potter, I'm afraid. But wait till you leave school

Q11. Is there an age limit for joining the London Vampyre Group?

How old do u have to b to b a member ???? im only 15 xxx my email is .......................

Hello whoever, the answer to your question is that we try to make sure that members are over or nearly approaching eighteen. For two reasons:

a) a lot of our events and meetings take place in pubs and we can't be seen to encourage underage drinking and

b) we have often been accused, usually by religious extremists, of misleading and brainwashing young people, so we suggest that people should not join until they reach eighteen.

Some of our members are younger, but it is sometimes because they don't tell us, or sometimes it is with the encouragement of their parents/guardians. Basically, you can keep up with what we are doing by regularly looking at the website, and you might find some of the events listed are totally suitable for a young person.

What's more it is possible that our magazine might be more widely available as time goes by - that will depend on where you live. Anyhow, the best things in life are always worth waiting for.......